Article originally posted on Medium.com
A few years ago, I asked a very well-respected music A&R, during a spring industry gathering, why there didn’t seem to be any new female artists over the age of 30 entering Top 40 radio. Also, how come there weren’t any mom artists entering the mainstream music scene? Is the industry ageist, perhaps?
I swear to go…YES. Duh. But also, it’s complicated.
Wanting to save face in front of our other musical colleagues, he answered back something to the effect of “There are lots of pop stars over 30. Lots of moms, too.”
Really? I asked. Like who?
Pink. Beyoncé. Britney, to name a few.
“How many Top 40 female pop stars can you count who became mothers before they became pop stars?” I refined my question. “I can count 5. Since 1975.”
I tell you what, I am really good at making people uncomfortable.
“Perhaps there are more, but that’s what I can count off the top of my head,” I continued, “and I’m including Shania Twain in that group because she had to take care of her siblings after their parents were killed in a car crash before she got famous.”
Cricket. Cricket.
Now, how did I get to the point where I was even thinking about mothers in the music industry, anyway?
Bitterness. Jealousy, probably? I mean, I’d like to say something cool like curiosity, but let’s be honest — after I became a mom, the phone stopped ringing.
So, I spent years trying to figure out exactly why. Why does society dislike moms in the music industry so much? Why do so many women every year hide their pregnancies or even fail to mention they have kids when they’re trying to get a foot in the door? It happens in all industries to some pretty wild extents, unless you’re a Mommy YouTuber or Influencer and that’s the whole point.
And then every year or so, a slew of articles comes out noting the astonishing fact that only insert-any-number-under-five percent of all music producers/directors/etc. are female and where have they all gone?
Um. They left.
Because they’re not idiots.
They chose happiness over chaos.
Why would anyone of sound mind choose to wear themselves out even more than they already have to trying to manage a career, raising a brood, maintaining a partner relationship, blah blah blah the list goes on, when this industry has proven for decades that they fundamentally don’t believe motherhood has any value? That sounds like the definition of insanity to me.
“Mothers aren’t sexy and sex is what sells. Availability is what sells. And in fact, we don’t even like it when our favorite pop star starts dating or gets married. You know why? Because now we can’t have sex with her. She’s taken. My totally unrealistic dream of sleeping with her is no more. So now, as a listener, I’m subconsciously less interested in her music,” a fellow music friend of mine once told me. His analysis, though not surprising, did piss me off.
So to all the music executives out there asking themselves how they can attract more women into their industry (which they should definitely be asking because we have proof that women kick ass at innovating), let me say something loud and clear. MAKE. YOUR. INDUSTRY. INCLUSIVE. TO. EVERYONE. EVERY. ONE.
Including mothers.
Why?
DOLLAR BILLS, DUDES. Who actually pays for the music memberships and the concert tickets? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not the 14-year-olds deciding what music gets played on the radio thanks to trending app statistics. It’s the parents (and also advertisers, but that’s a different beast…). We are the ones paying the credit cards.
So maybe market to us once in a while and see what happens. Make us feel valuable.
For once, I’d love to hear a song about something other than high school crushes and hook-up culture on Top 40 radio — not that I don’t enjoy it, but all the time..? Could you give me something real? Like a song about how everything on my body is starting to sag, or even better — I dare Top 40 radio stations to start playing PMS, by Mary J. Blige.
That would start a motherevolution.
What kinds of music would you like to hear on Top 40 radio? More or the same of different perspectives? Leave a comment!